Planting with Tears

Hazorim Bdima

 

As the saying goes, Hindsight is 2020.  This reminds me of that.

 

It’s so hard to see when you’re in it.  In the trenches of whatever it is.  The thing that’s making us emotional, frustrated, or sad.

But it’s usually those feelings that fuel us forward  and we grow in-spite of that.

 

When I was younger, life was far from easy to say the least.  Growing up I carried a lot. With my parents divorcing when I was just a pre teen.  An oldest of three.  It was very tough for me.  Unfortunately, It’s nothing out of the ordinary, really, but my circumstances made it especially tough.  And I cried a lot.  Not to anyone.  I was super strong.  I helped.  I babysat.  I cleaned.  I was always smiling. But I cried.  Hard tears.

 

It was a dark time.  There’s no way to sugar coat it.  Thinking about it makes me feel weird.  That’s how uncomfortable it was.  I would trade lives with anyone at that time.

 

But the funny thing is, all that emotion, it was my fuel for everything in my “real” life!  It was like God was preparing me, giving me the tools for what I needed.  What did I need? Grit.  To cut through cement and be an artist.  A successful artist.  A successful Jewish young artist.  And there’s no better way of achieving grit then with some good old anger.  It simply pushed me forward.  By leaps and bounds.  And it got me painting over 70 paintings in five years.  All that pent up emotion just burst out!

 

Hazorim bdima Brina yoktzoru - those who plant with tears will reap with joy.

 

Your tears are your power.  In the moment, it feels terrible.  It’s being planted...When you look back, it’s your greatest tool and you will reap with joy.


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