I’m not a very private person. Although I am.
Can you relate to this? Like when you’re asked:
“are you a morning person, or a night person?”
Do you know for certain, or sway for a second and then say both or none;) - that’s me!
I don’t like to be put into a box of I’m completely like this or that…
I’ve always felt like an open book and that allows me to be present on social media. But
I’ve noticed recently just how private I really am. And social media has highlighted that as well.
There are lots of times where I just want to crawl behind the screen and not show lots of things.
I’m asked a lot to show my process. So I do. But only when I’m in the mood to press play on the record button. It’s a very conscious action. I know there’s a video behind me. I can’t pretend that it isn’t there. I don’t mind being on video, and actually enjoy video! But when it comes to painting, it’s a whole different play.
I feel it. And I don’t like it. Painting has become such an intimate experience between the canvas and myself, a place where mystery unfolds and where worlds are found. The camera is simply an intruder. It’s the elephant in the room.
That’s what I’ve noticed. But I gotta give you something! I know that. You are my everything . So I I show the process. Bits and pieces. Here and there. Some golden nuggets. Preciously taped for you.
Many times, it may be a small painting, where I consciously know that I am painting to record.
I was feeling the pressure. Pressure to be one way. and pressure to show up.
Coming to the realization that actually I don’t want to. I don’t want to show the whole process. I don’t want to give up my privacy. It’s ok to be private. . That feels freeing.
Whatever you are, private or not so much, it’s all good..just be in touch with yourself, and you can be both. or none;)
